The Key Elements to Knowing Your Worth
When I was in the eleventh grade, one of my schoolmates asked me to his prom. It was my first prom. He was a handsome young man, on the silly side, but nice. I can still see the dress that I chose to wear. It was a one-shoulder strapless dress with gold trim at the top. I loved the dress, and I was excited about the opportunity. I felt chosen. We were not dating, but I liked him! Also, my parents were extremely strict, and they were allowing me to go. It was my icing on the cake.
The day before his prom, I was coming down the back stairs of our school headed to my next class. He said that he wanted to talk to me. I paused for us to speak, and he shared that if I wanted to go to his prom, I needed to give up something. What? He repeated it. I told him I was not giving up, “nothing!” He then said that I was not going to his prom. I walked away in disbelief, and I was hot. Who did he think he was? I don’t owe you nothing.” I was hurt, crushed, and honestly embarrassed.
When I got home, I told my dad what happened, and my dad just listened at first, but then he told me how proud he was of me. Whew! What a relief he was proud. Honestly, I was concerned about my dad’s reaction. I thought he would say something like, “that is why I don’t allow you to go out.” His words were comforting. He told me to keep the money when I took the dress back to the store. I was happy with my decision and never spoke to him again.
It was a painful experience, and I wish I could tell you that I learned a valuable lesson of self-worth. Although I showed that I valued myself, there were other relationships where I did not appreciate myself. I did not understand my worth, and I got caught up in dead in relationships.
I have spoken to many women who have not valued their worth and look to someone else to validate them. When we validate, value, and embrace ourselves, people will do the same. We must nourish healthy and loving relationships
Donald O. Clifton and Paula Nelson say, “Relationships help us to define who we are and what we can become. Most of us can trace our successes to key relationships.” Cultivating good relationships with our family, community, and the church is good for the soul, increasing our worth. If you want to develop good relationships, try one of the seven suggested bridging actions listed below to build a good relationship:
- People are insecure… gives them confidence.
- People want to feel special…sincerely compliment them.
- People desire a better tomorrow…show them hope.
- People need to be understood…listen to them.
- People are selfish…speak to their needs first.
- People get emotionally low…encourage them.
Call to Action
When I was at a low point in my life, I volunteered for a church program to deliver meals to the elderly. Each elder was so appreciative and happy to see me. It honestly made my day, and I felt so good. When we give to others, it builds our worth, so let’s “WORTH” build.